From the sound of horseshoes on the day of Princess Diana’s funeral to the sound of paparazzi chasing paparazzi as a child behind a car, Prince Harry is still traumatized by the loss of his mother.
In detailing how he failed to deal with his loss in over a decade, Harry said in a new TV documentary series that fears of losing his wife Meghan too were one of the main reasons the couple left the royal family and moved. California last year.
“My mother was driven to death when she was dating a non-white man, and now look what happened. Are you talking about a repeating history? They won’t stop until she dies,” Harry says in the mental health documentary series “You Can’t See Me.”
“The potential to lose another woman in my life is incredibly triggering,” he said, referring to Megan. The series “You Can’t See Me”, which Harry co-produced with American talk show host Oprah Winfrey, premieres on Apple TV+ on Friday.
Princess Diana died in an accident in Paris in 1997 after a car she was traveling with her Egyptian-born boyfriend Dodi Fayed was chased down by paparazzi. Harry was 12 years old.
Harry, of mixed-race American wife Megan, spoke of British media reports of racism and abuse on social media about his wife. Meghan said her experience in England made her contemplate suicide when she was pregnant with her first son, Archie.
In the documentary, Harry talked about walking behind Diana’s coffin across the streets of London with his brother William, father Prince Charles and Uncle Charles Spencer.
“The thing I remember the most was the sound of horse hooves following the mall,” he said. “It felt like I was out of my body, just walking around, doing what I expected, and showing a tenth of the emotion everyone was showing.”
Years ago, he recalled being chased by photographers while sitting in the back of his mother’s car in tears.
“One of the emotions that always comes to mind is helplessness. You’re a man and you’re too young to help a woman, in this case your mother, and it happened every day,” he said.
Harry asked about his feelings, but said he drank a lot and had panic attacks and anxiety in his 20s and was still scared when he looked at the camera.
“I was so upset that it happened to her (Diana) and that there was no justice at all… The very people who followed her through the tunnel filmed her dying in the backseat of that car,” he said.
“Camera clicks and camera flashes make the blood boil. it pisses me off It takes me back to what happened to my mother, to what I experienced as a child.”
The 36-year-old said he felt nervous and hunted when he returned to London.
Harry said he started serious treatment when he met Meghan almost five years ago.
“I quickly confirmed that I had to deal with the past if this relationship was going to work,” he said. The couple got married in May 2018.